


Common Welsh Greens

by ardentmuse



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, First Kiss, Letters, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Mutual Pining, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 18:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17750969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentmuse/pseuds/ardentmuse
Summary: MC has begun work as a dragonologist, starting out on the same sanctuary as Felix. After years of letter writing (and mutual pining), meeting face-to-face is somehow harder than it should be.





	Common Welsh Greens

“And I believe you know Felix,” your new boss said as conclusion to his introduction of the team of young dragonologists who would be your partners for the next several months.

Felix. Your heart skipped a beat at hearing the name Felix Rosier. He was dressed so much more casually than you had ever seen him: dirt covered the knees of his khakis, his sleeves were rolled and bunched, displaying strong forearms marked with some small burns, hair, and the faintest tan, so foreign on his perfect porcelain skin. And his hair was no longer slicked back how you had grown accustomed to seeing it, but instead it was falling forward in delightful disarray.

You locked eyes with the former prefect, with the man who held a place in your heart as the first boy who ever filled you with butterflies and had you yearning for his attention and smiles, even if they were incredibly rare. You were surprised to see a soft crinkle in the corners of his eyes as he smiled at you now, a short smile that faded quickly to something much more professional as he held out his palm for you to shake. What didn’t surprise you was how quickly those butterflies returned. The lump in your throat grew near painful in anticipation. You swallowed and shook without saying a word, your mind hyper-focused on the faint sweat of his palm and the lingering touch of his fingers around yours, just a millisecond more than would have been necessary.

“And that’s the whole crew. Team, Y/N here is our newest hire, an impressive recent graduate with top marks on the N.E.W.T.s and a ton of combat experience. You may have heard about the search for the cursed vaults? Well, we’re very lucky to have Y/N with us to assist in the tracking and capture of some of our most fearsome beasts. Felix, would you mind allowing Y/N to shadow you today?”

Throughout the entire speech, you kept your eyes on your new boss but felt the gaze of Felix fierce and intense on your back. You turned to face him upon the address and locked eyes once more. His face turned an impressive shade of crimson as he swallowed his words.

“Of— of course.” 

Your boss left to go about the rest of his day, giving you the opportunity to mingle with the other dragonologists, to learn more about the recent conservation efforts at the preserve and hear about the more aggressive incidents that the Common Welsh Greens had been causing for the local community. Normally Common Welshes were so docile. You personally were beginning to suspect something worse was at work at all the reports of aggression, a return of the dark magic that had plagued the wizarding world not so long ago, but that was for you to investigate in the coming months.

As conversation died down, you felt long fingers curl around your elbow. You flicked your eyes up to meet a still-red Felix.

“Have you been given a tour yet?” he asked, his fingers still tight on your arm.

You shook your head and Felix began maneuvering you without a word away from his coworkers and out into the beautiful fields of the dragon sanctuary.

Once far enough away, you were sad to feel his fingers fall from your skin.

“Dragon hunting?” he asked as you continued into the tall grass towards some small buildings that lined the hills, medical stations and research labs most likely, “You always did seek out trouble.”

“Trouble always found me,” you corrected. “I only began seeking it recently.”

Felix laughed, a sound you hadn’t heard in years, and the first time you could recall that you had ever been the cause.

“That’s bunk and you know it.”

He flicked his gaze towards you quickly, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips and displaying the dimples that had made a twelve year old you swoon once and an eighteen year old you swoon now.

“Always trouble,” he whispered to himself with a shake of the head. You laughed too and something seemed to lighten in Felix’s steps at the sound.

Felix made a quick pivot, diverting from the path that lead to the buildings where you thought he was going to take you. You begin hiking up the hillside, the green grass thinning out to make room for more rock and dirt. Together you walked in silence for several minutes until Felix took a seat upon a boulder at the very top of the hill. When you took your spot beside him, you saw you were able to see the entirety of the sanctuary from your position, rolling hills in all directions as far as you could see, a small collection of cabins for the staff just a kilometer or so away, and a tiny family of dragons blending almost seamlessly into a distant valley visible only in their movement as they stalked a heard of sheep. 

“Wow,” you breathed.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Felix’s gaze was far off, taking in the serenity of the Welsh country side. You found yourself much more interested in the man beside you than anything he could show you in the distance. You took a moment to assess him.

“I’d say the most beautiful thing here is you, sir.”

Felix’s mouth fell agape, his face flush under the high June sun. “What? No. What— me?”

You laughed heartily at the man, still definitely handsome and still definitely a little too stiff.

“Listen, Y/N, I—“ Felix began, but stopped to let out a sigh. He turned to face you properly, biting at his lip as if debating what to say. “I’m glad you are here.”

You let out a long sigh at his words, feeling a wave of relief wash over you.

“I’m glad I’m here, too. I thought you wouldn’t be too happy to see me, though. When you stopped writing letters, I—“

“I didn’t stop,” Felix interrupted you, his voice harsh and weighty. “I just stopped sending them.”

You felt the distance between your bodies so acutely. Mere inches of space separated your thighs, the tension of wanting to feel him pressed against you, to understand what this was between you, was so intense an ache that you thought your heart might not last the several seconds of silence that fell after his words.

“Why?” you breathed, staring down at the bare rock visible between your knees.

“I was—“ Felix started but paused. You reached your hand out to grab his, hoping it might encourage him to continue but also selfishly desiring his touch. He relaxed under your touch for just a second before pulling away.

“It’s okay, Felix. You don’t have to explain. If it would be better to get someone else to tour me—”  
“I was worried I would say something I’d regret, okay?” Felix said as he stood, pulling himself far away from you. You looked down at the space on the rock, now feelings like a universe of distance, and then up at the man before you. He was running his hands harshly through his hair and blowing out air like a steam engine.

“Felix,” you began, your voice shaking, “Do you have feelings for me?”

Felix’s gaze flicked to meet yours so quickly, you thought he might have hurt his neck. But almost as quickly he looked away once more.

“Please don’t make me say it,” he whispered towards his shoes.

“Would it help if I said them first?” you asked as you stood, walking over to the cliff edge where he stood. When you reached him, you took his hand once more. This time, he grabbed onto you in turn with no intention of pulling away.

Felix said, “I can’t,” more to himself than to you. He squeezed your hand, kissed your knuckles once before dropping your hand from his with a sense of finality that had you crushed. He lazily used his fingers to point out important buildings on the horizon before offering a quick, “I assume you can see yourself back to your cabin?” before disappearing down the mountainside, leaving you alone, stunned, and completely heartbroken.

Days passed as Felix ignored your existence on the reserve. He talked through coworkers, never lingered longer than was absolutely necessary in your presence, and went to sleep right after dinner, avoiding the late night fireside chats that became the custom. It was a week of having lost someone you considered a friend at the very least and honestly it was brutal.

But then the first letter arrived. At the crack of dawn, you left your room to head out to a nearby village only to find a small scroll, rolled like it would be to travel by owl sitting on your welcome mat with your name in unmistakable beautiful script upon the outside. When you opened it, you saw the letter was dated September 3, 1990, the letter that should have arrived right after the last you sent at the start of your final year of school.

Y/N—

It is hard for me to admit how much joy I feel upon receiving each of your letters and this latest is no different. Knowing that you are nearing the end of your journey at Hogwarts and about to join the rest of the wizarding world is exciting for many reasons, the largest of which is my hope that perhaps you might be amenable to seeing if this friendship of ours might be able to be something more.

I have developed feelings for you, Y/N, romantic ones that have consumed my heart and mind since last I saw you. I know in many ways I shouldn’t feel these things. You are only just an adult and still growing in the world. But I would be remiss to deny my heart the thing for which it longs so acutely. The least I can do is be honest with you and allow you to do with the knowledge what you may.

Please keep me up to date on your studies. Continue to do me proud.

Until we speak again.

Yours, 

Felix

You read the letter over and over, now understanding what Felix meant. Your heart was so full knowing that you both wanted the exact same thing. But when you saw him at lunch, he still avoided your gaze, still sat at the other end of the table, still pretended like you were not there.

But the next day a second letter arrived. And then a third. Every day a new letter, one written every week of your seventh year, one meant for your eyes but never given flight. Sometimes they were simple recounts of his day, of the hatching he witnessed or the conversation he had with his parents. Others were much more heartfelt, but each was revealing to you the relationship Felix wanted, but for some reason was denying himself. 

 

November 12, 1990

Y/N—

I reread many of our letters from last year and I must say your enthusiasm for your studies has me motivated to do more here at the sanctuary. You would love these dragons, each unique in their personalities and temperaments. They are calm, beautiful creatures when left to their own devices, though fearsome when provoked or protecting those they love.

They remind me of you.

I hope you’ll meet them someday.

Yours,

Felix

 

January 4, 1990

Y/N—

I failed to get an ounce of rest last night. Sleep alluded me at every turn. Instead, your face was the only thing my mind cared to know. I studied the details of your eyes, the way they close ever so slightly when you smile and shine brightly when you get excited. I recalled your lips, their curves and bends and the plump flesh that I long to feel against my own someday. I pictured your cute nose and your darling ears and the length of your jaw that I wish I could hold in my hands as I press my forehead to yours. I fear I may forget your face if I don’t recall it often. But somehow every time I do, it is like you are right in front of me. And when I open my eyes to reach out to you, you are gone once again.

Maybe it is the cold that has my mind doing crazy things. This winter would be much more bearable with you beside me.

Felix

 

March, 22, 1991

Y/N—

I don’t know what to say. I am certain it seems like I have abandoned you, somehow forgotten about the most beautiful soul I have ever known. You must think that I’ve changed my mind, stopped caring, decided you were not worth my time. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Why can’t I just tell you what I want you to hear, that I adore you with every fiber of my being? Why can’t I just send this letter your way? Why can’t I put these words to the wind for you to receive? Part of me thinks I may just fear the inevitable rejection. How could someone as strong and accomplished as you want anything to do with me? But a deeper part of me know the real fear is that you might feel this too.

What then? I cannot allow myself to hurt you and I fear you would be sorely disappointed with the kind of partner I would be. I’m quick to anger. I am selfish. I’m snippy and rigid and a bit cold at times. And you, you deserve warmth and affection and devotion and never a single ounce of disappointment or sorrow. I would never forgive myself if you chose to give me your heart and I failed to care for it the way it deserves.

Someday maybe I will be strong enough to tell you how I feel instead of just longing for you from afar. Maybe someday. But not today.

I’m sorry.

Felix

 

June 10, 1991

Y/N—

Our boss has informed me that you arrive tomorrow and I have never felt such mixed emotions before. To see you again is a dream, a dream I have lived when I leave this waking world each night far too many times that I dare admit. But to see you once more is also a nightmare.

I pray you don’t hate me for abandoning you. I only ever wanted to give you the very best. I hope we may still at the very least be friends.

Yours even now,

Felix

 

After over a month of receiving letters, they finally stopped, just in time for you to leave for your next part of the world, to study the next rise in aggressive dragon activity plaguing muggle communities. Felix had gotten warmer in your time with the Common Green Welsh dragons. He no longer fled from you when you sat down beside him. He could come with you to visit hatchlings or take care of injuries or question locals about recent sightings. You would dare to say you were friends again.

But the elephant in the room still remained unaddressed. You wondered if you’d ever be able to ask the questions you longed to know before you left once more to perhaps never hear from Felix Rosier again.

You sat on the rock overlooking the green hills, contemplating everything when you heard footsteps coming up the grass. You turned to see Felix shyly smiling at you. The sun was dipping long on the horizon, illuminating his face lovely shades of lavender and persimmon.

“May I?” he asked, gesturing with his chin to the spot on the rock beside you.

You simply nodded.

Felix took his seat, this time his thigh firmly pressed against your own. The warmth of his skin sent shock waves down your spine. You only then realized just how much you longed for him still, now understanding the depth of his heart and his conflict over loving you the way he did and, you hoped, does.

“Y/N, I want to apologize for how—“

You sprung forward, pressing your mouth to his, kissing him with the passion that had just somehow possessed your body. Felix froze against you for only a moment before you felt him sigh into your touch and open his lips to you. His hand came up to rest at the base of your neck, guiding your face so he could kiss you better. His mouth moved slow, almost lazily against your own, like he was determined to know the feel of every inch of you. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours and held you there. His breathing was labored but even.

“I love you, Felix Rosier,” you placed into the air between the two of you.

“You do?” he questioned between breaths, “Even after everything you’ve read?”

“Even more so now,” you admitted. “Felix, I don’t care what you think about what I do and do not deserve. The only opinion that matters is mine. And I want you.”

Felix sighed, “But you deserve the world.”

“And to me, that’s you.”

He laughed. At first soft and breathy, and then fully, consuming and echoing around you like a symphony.

“To each their own, I guess,” he said before kissing you once more, this time heavy and passionate, a promise of more to come.

When you pulled away this time, the sun was fully set, leaving only your wands to light the way home.

“I leave in four days,” you groaned as you nestled in against his chest, loving the feel of having his arms around you just as you had always imagined.

“I’ll send the letters this time,” he whispered as he kissed the crown of your head. Slowly, holding you to him, he laid back against the rock, pulling you fully onto his chest.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he confirmed as he stroked your back, looking up at the stars. “And I’ll take some time to come visit. That’s what boyfriends do, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice shaky with nerves.

You answered his unspoken question with a kiss on the lips. “It is.”


End file.
